A promise.

My promise will be kept.

What is a unicorn?

Artistic evidence of early unicorn habits.

The unicorn is a ‘mythological’ creature. This means that it’s existence has been successfully hidden from public view, as a safety mechanism. There is however, some early evidence of unicorns being quite friendly with humans, which gave birth to their legend. I have a theory that they are in fact invisible when they do not wish to be seen.

Issues in the Unicorn Kingdom:

Lumberjacks are Unicorn killers!

Due to logging, unicorn habitats have shrunk significantly, and this has caused some discomfort among the ranks of various unicorn settlements. For example, King Neigghbrrr of the Daintree Unicorn Kingdom (DUK FTW), has suggested to his followers that plans be made to ensure that their residences be kept in prime condition for future generations. At least, we think that’s what he said, but we don’t speak very fluent Unicorn. In fact, for all we know they were talking about how decent rainbows are so hard to find under thick canopies.


Ha, Ha, Just kidding.

As you know, Unicorns absorb rainbows as a source of energy. Horse food is not enough to support their magic powers. There are some old legends suggesting that unicorns do in fact eat children, or the souls of children. There is no physical evidence to support this claim. However some of the more primitive unicorn tribes (such as those residing in the plains of Algeria) are known to be quite hostile against humans. No doubt because of logging. It’s bad kids! You kill a log, you kill a unicorn’s house!

Related species:

Proof of relationship is not necessary as it is so obvious.

The unicorn’s nearest relative is the narwhal. These creatures of the ocean also display the single antler/horn of the unicorn. Narwhals, as you know, are the jedi of the sea.

I hope this essay has  been conclusive enough to settle any restless doubts that you have about Unicorns, Narwhals, and logging. Please feel free to comment with any questions which I will answer in my next post.


Golly That’s Amazing!


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